Charlemagne’s coronation, Circa. 728
10. Things That Tech Support Can’t Tell You Over the Phone
I’ve been in IT for some time now and I see a log of negative posts about tech support; we ask too many questions, we have to authenticate you, we can’t “just fix” a problem. I felt the need recently to write about this and hopefully clear up a few things.
1. We ask too many questions: if a tech isn’t asking you questions about your issue you should actually be concerned about this. The call usually starts with someone verifying your information with you. IT isn’t doing this for fun-skies. Its to make sure the correct profile is pulled up so a ticket can be generated under your name.
This is just in case you have similar issues with your system. Then the ticket can be worked on again or related to the new ticket. No, your tech doesn’t want your blood type or your past relations. The joke wasn’t funny with the first client who made it, it’s not funny now. Don’t quit your day job.
What about those “stupid questions” of ‘when,’ ‘what,’ ‘how?’Probing questions are part of a process called “troubleshooting.” This is where we assess an issue, try to find a fix and a cause. Without asking you when something happened or what else happened we have a difficult time finding a fix. This leads me to number 2.
2. We can’t “just fix” something. Technology isn’t magic. There are many ways to break things and there are many ways to fix things. A computer or a network or a peripheral isn’t just one thing that has one thing working on it. Its a system of many things working together.
Sometimes you need to troubleshoot an issue for 15 minutes and sometimes you need to troubleshoot for a week. Sometimes you just need to scrap the system entirely and start again. If a tech does one thing that seems to resolve the issue, that’s great but how do you know it really resolved the issue? This leads me to number 3.
3. You have to test a fix before you can rule it to be “fixed.” I have a lot of people who just want the call or the ticket over with.
“It’s fixed!” they exclaim as the client attempts to hang up the phone.
“Wait, one moment more please.” The tech responds. The client is obviously annoyed. The symptoms are gone and they want to get their work done. A good tech won’t just do something and call it good, they will continue to investigate and attempt to replicate the issue again until they are sure the issue is fixed.
Why? Well, you wouldn’t want the issue to come back in a day or two and have to call IT back would you? That might be more annoying than just letting the tech finish troubleshooting. What might be a lengthy and boring process to you is someones job. Let them do it.
4. We can’t “just change” your password. If a password is changed and a tech hasn’t asked you some kind of security question, this is a red flag. It might be convenient for you but that just means the tech was careless.
Let’s say, for example, your co-worker has had a problem with you but doesn’t really show it. Lets say they know your IT is really lax on security protocols. Just like that your co-worker has changed your password while you were on lunch and now a massive email has been sent out to the entire upper management staff with some kind of comments to them or porn. You are now fired.
You didn’t send the email but you did sign the security and IT policy that states that you were going to be responsible for your account. While the IT department is responsible for security it’s still your account. The same goes for when you don’t lock your computer.
5. You’re computer is slow and nothing works. This is usually because your aren’t shutting your computer down ever now and again. If nothing is working try a restart. If it’s still not working then call IT.
6. Don’t tell your IT department how good you are at googling and then ask us for help. This is like telling your doctor how good you are at diagnosing illness while you go in for a visit because you have some kind of illness you aren’t sure about. You don’t sound smart, you sound like and asshole.
If you know so much about whats going on don’t call us, fix it yourself. As stated earlier we will have to ask you a series of questions to get caught up on the situation. You know how to google and you already know the series of events that caused this to happen.
This isn’t to say that you can’t call for some help. There are plenty of times I have client who stated that they have googled and attempted to fix something on their own but couldn’t find a solution. Awesome, give me the details and we will work together on this.
Honestly this is the best kind of client to have. It’s like working on a puzzle with a friend. You give me the pieces you have and I’ll give you the pieces I’ll have and we will put this thing together as a team.
7. Don’t tell me how to do my job. This is almost as bad as telling me how much of a google genius you are. If I attempt to help you, please don’t tell me what to click to find a solution. I am perfectly capable of troubleshooting the issue. Don’t confuse this with working as a team.
Making suggestions is cool but if I remote in and you take control of the mouse or say “do this,” don’t surprised if I ask you if you’d like to troubleshoot on your own and call us back. What you’re doing is rude. I’ll help, but I’m not a puppet.
8.The sour attitude will get you terrible assistance. I don’t mean that you can’t call up angry. I totally get it if you’ve had a rough day and you’re frustrated. I get it. I’ll talk you down and try and make you feel better and I’ll be even more determined to fix the problem.
If you call in and you’re short with me, rude, you interrupt me, you’re argumentative, or you talk down to me. I can’t help you. I not only never want to take your call again, my management will see to it that you will not call in again.
I’ve worked for ISP’s (Internet Service Providers) who unfortunately do not have the luxury of advising their management of abusive clients. Those calls are much more common and much harder to deal with.
Remember, you’re talking to a human being not the CEO of the company you are mad at. Don’t take your angst out on them. They are there to fix IT problems for your not become your free, personal punching bag.
Currently I work in an environment where management does not tolerate or deal with abusive behavior. If you’ve been banned from calling in then that means someone else will have to call in and troubleshoot for you. Also, the recording will be played for your upper management so they can hear how you treat people.
9. The techs who care will do everything and more for you. If you get a tech who runs you through their script and spends a total of 5 minutes with you, they probably don’t give two shits about you or your problems. If they are willing to give you advise, troubleshooting tips, documentation and spend time to ensure that you are all set then you have a good tech.
Unfortunately it’s the bad techs who give the IT department a bad rep. Bad techs are lazy, careless and don’t really know a whole lot about what their doing, nor do they try and keep up with new information in order to better themselves.
10. Techs don’t know everything. This is why we look up procedures, manuals, and yes, we use google. It is absolutely impossible to memorize, know or understand everything about IT. Please don’t give a tech a bad score on the survey because they checked procedure.
This happens every now and again. Procedures change, updates can affect systems in ways we can’t predict. Please, be patient. I’m reading and researching for your benefit and mine. It’s not because I’m bad at my job but because this issue just occurred and our department is just learning about it.
We aren’t psychic. We have to read and process information just like you. Again, please know that if I’m checking documentation I’m making sure everything has been looked into or I’m learning on the fly.
I hope this answered some questions. If you want to know more please let me know.
Leonid Sobinov as Lensky in the opera Eugene Onegin by Pyotr Tchaikovsky
Bolshoi Theater, Russia — January 13th,1900
